IN LOVING MEMORY OF

Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann O'Dowd Profile Photo

O'Dowd

May 23, 1953 — Aug 18, 2024

Obituary

Winter, early 2000s: Kennebunk, Maine was covered in snow. Barbara - likely unbearably cold, rubbing her mittened hands together with fervor - watched patiently as her four daughters flew, shrieking, down the local sledding hill.

As evening fell, just before they all piled into the car with their sleds, her daughters pleaded with her to sled down the hill. Just once.

Barbara had a way of smilingly rolling her eyes in these moments. "Oh geez." And, in her deep Boston accent as she trudged up the hill: "Just once, and then we get in the cah."

She settled into the sled, tore down the icy hill, and fell over into the snow, laughing so hard she was shaking. Anyone she encountered in her life likely has her laugh echoing in their memories: It was consuming and contagious.

And then, with her daughters buzzing with renewed energy, she ran up the hill again. Down again. Up again. Down again. For what felt like hours, laughing the entire time.

This was Barbara Ann O'Dowd. She made minutes of joy feel like hours. She made the simplest moments of play feel life-changing. And for her 38 years as a mother, she poured her whole self into her daughters, leaving them with an unshakable love and with memories that will bolster each of them forever.

Barbara passed away peacefully on August 18, 2024. The final days of her life were, in many ways, deeply reflective of the 71 years preceding them: On Friday, she received a visit from Barb, a cherished cousin who flew from Atlanta to Philadelphia to sit at her bedside and share memories from across decades. On Saturday, her four daughters, two grandchildren, and son-in-law gathered around her, talking and laughing with and over one another. At one point, her daughter declared, "It sounds like Christmas in here." And on Sunday, with her daughters at her side, she received a visit from her beloved brother, Joe, and sister-in-law, Jeanne (though it should be noted that including "in-law," she always said, was unnecessary). Those surrounding her knew that if Barbara could offer a reflection of these final days, she would smile and say, "I'm so blessed."

Barbara was born on May 23, 1953 in Lawrence, MA to Marjorie Ellen Stanley O'Dowd and Joseph Augustine O'Dowd - who referred to her as "Bahbra" and "Peanut," respectively. She was the youngest of three children and grew up in a loving family with her sister, Mary, and brother, Joseph (Joe).

As the daughter of a teacher and a social worker, Barbara was raised with the values of family, kindness, humility, hard work, and the importance of giving something of yourself to others. These were values that she carried with her for life - values that have shaped her daughters' lives immeasurably.

Her childhood memories were centered around family: time with her cousins in Michigan and with extended family at Hampton Beach, arriving home from school to see her dog waiting for her, Sunday mass, taking walks with her father. She loved the ocean for as long as she could remember.

Barbara graduated from Lawrence High School in 1971. Throughout grammar and high school, she formed friendships that lasted a lifetime. To become Barbara's friend meant decades of love, kindness, warmth, and laughter.

Barbara was the most indescribably devoted mother to four daughters: Maggie (born in 1985), Molly (1988), Emma (1993), and Sarah (1995). She tucked notes ("Have a good day!" or "You'll do great on your test!") into her daughters' lunch boxes. She created handmade birthday decorations. She read, constantly, to her daughters until they read constantly on their own. She giggled through pranks, both inflicted and received. Her home in Massachusetts was regularly loud and joyful, bolstered for many years by the regular presence of Katie, Amy, and Kevin - three of her daughters' many cousins, all of whom she adored. She called her own mother daily, though she lived just minutes away.

As a mother, Barbara was a humble but steadfast anchor. "My love for you," she would tell her daughters, "is absolutely unconditional." Her daughters are all so different, and she believed in each of them unwaveringly.

For much of her daughters' childhoods, Barbara was a single mother. This was a staggering feat that her daughters did not fully recognize when they were young because she made it look far easier than it must have been. In 1999, Barbara and her daughters moved to Maine. There, she recentered family life around the ocean. When one of her daughters had a bad day, Barbara drove her along the coast and listened. Rather than offering a constant stream of advice, she gently steered each of her daughters towards developing a quiet confidence in themselves. Sometimes, they asked her for explicit guidance. Always, she would answer, "I trust you." She knew this would be lasting. She was right.

When her daughters were in school, Barbara didn't like to make a big show of things: She was often seen at games, meets, or performances still wearing her scrubs after a long day at work. When other parents yelled to their children (or the coaches or the refs), Barbara occasionally flashed a smile or a thumbs-up as she watched. Anything more than this pervasive but quiet encouragement would have been too much of a show.

Her daughters' friends were drawn to her warmth. They knew her as a mom who, somehow, ensured that her home always smelled like a home. Her chocolate chip cookies gained notoriety among their friends. "It's just the recipe on the package," she would say, waving her hand to brush off the compliments. When her daughters moved away, she always had cookies ready when they returned home. She baked extras so that there were enough for any friends who dropped by, too.

In July 2014, Barbara was overjoyed to welcome her son-in-law, Vegard, into the family. Soon after Maggie and Vegard's wedding, Barbara's brother Joe encouraged her to move to Pennsylvania so that, once she became a grandmother, she could immerse herself fully in the role - one that he and everyone who knew her understood would be her most joyful. She knew it, too, and moved to Media, PA in 2015 - leaving a lifetime in New England in order to be Grandma.

In July 2016 and January 2020, Barbara became a grandmother to her two grandchildren: Aleks and Tomas, respectively. As a grandmother, Barbara was a light. She immersed herself in dinosaurs and episodes of Daniel Tiger and story time at the local library. Prior to the pandemic, Aleks spent each Sunday morning at her apartment - and when Maggie or Vegard arrived to pick him up, they found both Aleks and Grandma equally breathless and bright-eyed from their hours of play. She kept her freezer stocked with the ice cream that could only be consumed at Grandma's.

Barbara's life was filled with joy, but it was objectively difficult. She worked, sometimes three jobs at a time, to single-handedly provide for her children. She made hard decisions about which bills to prioritize. She was diagnosed with stage IV melanoma in 2015 and frontotemporal dementia (FTD) in 2020. Each time she overcame a challenge, she faced another.

But she gave her daughters everything they ever needed. Somehow, she provided them with a quiet foundation. Her cancer went into remission, adding years to her life. And even as her FTD progressed - her greatest and final challenge - her eyes sparkled every single time she saw her grandchildren. Her life, at every moment, was centered around love.

And if anyone asked her how she was doing, no matter the circumstances, she would respond, resolutely.

"I am so blessed."

---

Barbara is survived by her children (Maggie Ann Griffiths Sorby, Molly Ellen Griffiths, Emma Beth Griffiths, and Sarah Kate Griffiths); her son-in-law (Vegard Holsen Sorby) and her grandchildren (Aleksander O'Dowd Sorby and Tomas O'Dowd Sorby); her brother (Joseph O'Dowd) and sister-in-law (Jeanne O'Dowd) and their children (Katie, Amy, and Kevin); her sister (Mary Littig) and brother-in-law (Allan Littig) and their children (Danielle and Christy); and an extended family that she loved dearly. She is also survived by her chosen family: a group of close friends who were the loving force behind her strength.

In honor of Barbara's memory, her family invites you to donate as you are able to one of the causes that she cared about deeply.

Penn FTD Center

Please select the "In Memory" option on the first page. You will be prompted to enter Barbara O'Dowd. For Memorial Donation Notification, please enter Maggie Sorby, maggie.sorby@gmail.com (you are not required to enter a mailing address).

Penn's Abramson Cancer Center

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